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Happy New Year 2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy New Year

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 A bit of a fire work show for us all to enjoy with the new year will bring new things to the blog as well as my writing. I will be putting out a mixtape or two throughout the year.

While we all recover from the night before, just remember that if you don’t work today, take it easy. Enjoy the begining of the new year with a DVD matharathon or marathons that are on TV.

So have a great day and thank you to everyone that reads these posts because 2013 has been a great year with all the ups and downs but I know that with each and everyone’s support we will have a great 2014 here where the stories matter.

Chris Ifill

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Merry Xmas

 

Happy Holidays from Chrisifill.com

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The Monolouges

Please be advise that will be foul language and adult subject matter. 

If you missed the first post in this on going series, you can always find it here. But now that you’re caught up. Let’s get right into this with my monologue.

An older lady isn’t always a wiser lady. I only learnt this at a young age. I was just young age of 19 and went out to the bar with a good friend David. David called me right as I was going to play on my computer. He convinced me with the promise of drinks and a good time, so with little poking on his part, I dragged myself out of the house and meet up with Dave at the local bar. He and I had enough drinks that made the night fly by between bad jokes and even more stories as well as games of pool. I broke up the mix with some dancing on the dance floor of this small watering hole. I being the brash teen, I went up to these two older women with glasses of wine in hand.  I challenged them to a doubles game. David was half over the one girl but I was just half into my last drink and the game. Last call hits and of course, like most men, I tried to close, AGN style – always grab numbers. So this women, who I found out is a kindergarden teacher lived within walking distance from the bar. K-teacher gave me her number AND we walked home. A highlight had to be while we were talking, she squatted behind and did something I haven’t seen up till this date. She threw up while taking a piss. It was the train wreck that I couldn’t look away. So after that, we continued to walk back to her place. I was about to turn and head home but she invited me in for a night cap. I was a bit nervious but I let the night carry me forward. So we had one bottle of red wine. God I hate the bitter taste of the wine that night. So we started to make out on the couch and I was still not even acting like myself. She pulled me by the hand into a smaller bedroom. I flipped on the light switch to see that we were in her kid’s bedroom. I just stood in shock, the teacher was peeling off her clothes on the race card bed. I felt a sudden awakening or I came almost instantly sober and just shook my head and said, “Nope! Not happening” I said as I put back on my shirt, grabbed my shoes and walked out the door. I always think about how some older women aren’t always that bright.

So I hope you enjoyed my monologue and don’t forget to tip your waitress or waiter, those people are here for you.

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My Embarrassing Moment

An embarrassing moment when it happens is horrible but add time, it becomes a great story to tell everyone. We all have had that moment in which the world and you can see yourself at the worst for whatever reason. I have had a couple of them over the years but today I am going to tell one of those stories.

I will try to keep it short and sweet so we can all laugh about it. So I was about 22 years old and just living life. I went to the bar most fridays and saturdays. One night, I couldn’t figure out why every person was laughing and patting me on the back. No girl would even dance with me but I just went to dance and enjoy the music. So when I started walking home, I felt a breeze and wondered how I was feeling it. I asked my friend and he just smirked before shaking his head. I didn’t give it a second thought until I got home and looked down to finally see that my fly was done the WHOLE night.

At the time, I died a little, all these people saw me with my fly dancing and trying to hit on the girls. Good god!

What is an embarrassing story that happened to you? Leave a comment and let me know or email it to me?

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Book Report

The end has come and the task has slayed me. The stats for the my attempt at a second novel which is to be titled The Yearbook – A collection of short stories is below.

The Yearbook – A collection of short stories is 57% done.
The final count as of today is 28381 out of 50,000 words.
A total of 4 out of 12 stories were completed.

So a month in review with my first attempt at writing twelve stories in one month and I didn’t succeed. I think I hit the wall while working on the fifth story in this collection. So this year, I have to say that I didn’t complete a novel in 30 days. It got so bad that I was stressing myself out over it so much that I wasn’t sleeping or sleeping for little time that I was becoming distant from my friends and loved ones. I had to finally look at the project and say to myself, “I can come back to this next time or at a later date”. The best advice I had gotten while attempting this task was simple and straight forward, “Take a break for a day, it will do you good”

The problem I find with setting out in a public way a challenge is handling the failure that comes from not meetings people expectations. I spent the last week in November trying to find the words to tell people that I failed and then realized that if they love me, they will be supportive in your defeat. I can say that I got four complete stories that I will have to post on the blog after editing them because they are raw.

Learning from failure and mistakes is the only way to make yourself a better person in life. So what failures in your life have you gone through and the experience made you a better person for?

Leave a comment and let me know